That moment of losing everything… and then in any time you could breakdown and find to lose yourself also.

How do you stop bad things from happening? Day by day, situations are getting worse and worse and worse. Everyday, it’s only getting harder. Have I gone mad? I never wanted to feel like this, nor write about this. I never wanted to go BACK to that time. Dark days. I promised myself to not go back.. to not go back.. to not… But I can’t help it!! I feel like I’m supposed to be blamed for everything! I am so guilty. Very guilty! I am so mad about myself, that I couldn’t even control my flaws.

Before the school year started, during that home therapy, I swear myself to live a peaceful and beautiful life by opening up to it and seek things that would inspire my way of living. It went well, actually. Until then..

It is so hard to be strong when you feel so weak. Anyone could tell, those incidents were nothing compared to what other people might be facing right now, but no one could EVER understand the words dropped that moment. Hell. Felt like hell.

I am feeling so shameful of myself right now… How I quickly lose myself, how I rant about my weakness. I just hope that I could be understand…